A Change Of Heart
by Emma99
Summary: Bella Swan's mother has recently passed away, and Bella just can't cope with Phil. Soon, Bella's living with her father Charlie in a small town called Forks. When Bella and Edward first meet, Bella hates his guts. But soon, that begins to change. AH OOC
1. Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan

**Authors Note:**** Here I go. I'm already in love with this story. Well, the idea anyways. I have been thinking about it so much. I promise I won't stop this half way through. I am going to have a song for every chapter. **

**A Change Of Heart**

**Chapter One**

**Welcome To My Life by Simple Plan**

I was awaken from my sleep by the penetrating sun burning its way into my room, obviously by somebody opening the navy blinds in the corner of my room that were almost never noticed, much less opened.

Okay, maybe I was being quite deceitful. Two months ago, I would jump out of bed and happily open my blinds, excited for what that magical day would bring to me. But that was before my mother died.

Now, everything had changed. A lot.

Those happy moments, that used to be almost constant, weren't just rare for me anymore, they were nonexistent.

And my head, which used to be filled with thoughts of upcoming events, my friends, and how great I made everyone feel, was now filled with different was to commit suicide.

Before, I was like a gift from heaven. Now, I was more like a spawn of Satan.

I tried to open my eyes and discover who had awaken me by setting the blazing light free in my room, but the brightness stopped me from opening my eyes enough to see anything. Instead, I scrunched my eyelids back together, regretting ever trying to open them.

Everybody told me this was just a phase. The suicide ideas. But I didn't think so. I thought it was permanent. My mother, Renee, had been everything to me. Crazy as she had been, I had loved her. If I ever thought of my life, of anything I had ever done, she would be there. My beginning, my middle, my now, and everything in between. But not my end. She would never be my end. Never could be. Because her end had already snatched her up and stolen her away from me. And although she may still come back to my thoughts from time to time, she never could come back and just hole me in her arms, or tell me that she loved me.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of pills crashing around in a bottle. Damn. I knew what they were. The antidepressants. I couldn't believe that they thought these pills could actually make me care less.

I flashed my eyes open again, this time half successful. I wasn't able to open them completely, but I was able to squint just enough to make out everything without feeling like I was going to die from the brightness. Even though dying didn't seem too bad right now.

Standing at the foot of my bed, shaking the damn pill bottle, was Phil, my stepfather, who I hated with a burning passion. Ever since my mom had, well, you know, passed on, he had desperately been trying to get rid of me. First he tried adoption, but soon discovered that it was too much paperwork for some superior human being to do for some little nuisance like me.

Than he called Charlie, my dad.

Charlie lived in a small town god knows where called Forks. Yeah, Forks. Charlie was thrilled to hear the news – that I would be staying with him, not that my mother had died. He had still felt something big for her when she took me away from him and to my current house in Phoenix, Arizona. But, despite the bad news about Renee, he was still glad that I was coming.

Even though I can't see why, because Phil had clearly explained to him many times how much of a pain in the ass it was to live with me. Yeah, pretty cold of Phil. Not like he gave a damn, though. I'm pretty sure he was glad that I heard it too. That's just who he was.

Phil chucked the damn pill bottle to me. "What the hell do you expect me to do, actually use these?" I asked him. I knew he hated my sarcasm. Hopefully this would piss him off.

"Bella, I don't give a damn what you do after the next-" he stopped mid sentence to look at the watch on his wrist. "two and a half hours. That's how long it is going to be until I drop you off at the airport. When you get there, do whatever the hell you want. Just don't make me look bad. But for the rest of the time you are in the house, please just use the pills. Maybe they might be able to help you. God forbid you do anything for me, so consider it as doing a favor to Renee. She wouldn't have wanted me to be stuck with a crank pot like you."

"Oh, crank pot? Where did you get that one, from the official dictionary for the Inconsiderate Assholes?" I asked him in a tone that would easily tell anybody who had a brain to just shut the hell up and leave me alone.

Apparently Phil didn't have a brain, because he continued to talk. "Isabella Swan, I am done with this conversation!" He shrieked, in almost a pissed off girl's voice. That's what he always said when he knew he lost. He stomped out of the bedroom and slammed the door like an immature five year old. Job well done, Bella Swan.

I looked at my bedside clock to see just what ungodly time it would say. Six thirty four. I had to be at the airport by nine, because my flight was leaving at twelve o'clock. Excellent. Only a few more hours till I can leave this torture house.

I looked beside me at the damn pill bottle. I brought it over to one of my three suitcases and put them in, like I was actually going to use them. Ha. That was a total joke.

I went into my bathroom where I had left clothes for today and my bathroom stuff. As I started brushing my teeth, I looked into the mirror at myself.

I was a rather simple person. I had brown hair, that had a tiny bit of natural curls in it, which went about three inches below my shoulders. My eyes were almost the same brown as my hair, but a tiny bit lighter, framed by my short eyelashes. I was skinny, not that you could tell with the loose cloths I had started to wear that were way too big for me.

All in all, I can't exactly believe why anybody would want to be around me. I mean, my personality sucked. I could clearly understand what Phil thought.

I continued to get ready to leave, by getting dressed, finishing up in the bathroom, packing my last few belongings, and eating breakfast. I was actually somewhat happy to be leaving. Not that I would show it. Not to Phil, and not to anyone else.

By ten to nine, Phil and I were in the front seat of the car, with my suitcases in the back, driving to the airport. Goodbye human civilization, hello town in the middle of nowhere, also known as Forks.

*

I got off the plane in a town near Forks. Port something. Angeles? I think so. Something like that, anyways. As I scanned the crowd, I saw people rushing to loved ones, hugging and crying, overjoyed to see them again. If Charlie thought I was going to do something like that, he was horribly mistaken. Smiling at him would be a huge leap for me, let alone crying and hugging and all that shit.

After scanning the crowd for a few minutes, I spotted Charlie, who appeared to be looking around for me, just as I had been doing moments age. I walked over to him and tapped my finger on his shoulder.

"Oh. Hi. Let's go get your bags." He said to me. Excellent. He didn't expect me to shed some tears. That's just who he was.

Instead of making a snide comment, like I would have if Phil had said something like that.

After we had picked up my suitcases we went out to the parking lot. I was about to ask Charlie what car was his, before I found out myself. The police cruiser. Damn. This would be so embarrassing. Well, at least I didn't actually care what people thought.

While we drove from Port something to Forks, Charlie tried to make small talk. When I say tried, I mean attempted to and failed miserably. First, he started off with one of the most general topics: school.

"So, Bella, you're going to be starting school tomorrow. Your old school has already sent all of your stuff to Forks High."

"Forks High?" I asked him in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope." He replied.

Great. It's bad enough that I have to even _live_ in a place like this, but go to a school called _Forks High?_

Our conversations after that involved Charlie asking me a question, and me giving him a one word answer, until I finally just brought my iPod out of my pocket and shoved the headphones into my ears, telling him clearly that I was done talking.

**Authors Note:**** I know I might have overdone it a bit. Mainly at the beginning. But that's just how I roll.**

**Reviews are excellent. So are the people who send them. =)**


	2. Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse

**Authors Note:**** Please read and review. I feel so discouraged! I got close to no reviews! But thank you to the people who did review. You reviewers are WONDERFUL.**

**Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse**

**Chapter 2**

**Bella's Point of View**

When Charlie and I got home, he helped me pack my stuff up to my room. It was just how it had been before when I was younger, minus the crib.

"So, Bella, are you hungry?" Charlie asked me while looking utterly confused. Probably trying to figure out how to treat your seventeen year old daughter, whose mother which she oh-so-deeply loved passed away only few months ago, and who you haven't seen or heard from since she was twelve years old. Yup, that might be a guess on what he was thinking about.

"Yeah, I am." I answered truthfully, with it somehow coming out polite.

"Well, I'm no cook, so do you want to go to the dinner for supper? That's usually where I go." I considered it. It's not really like I had any other choice. I just nodded and followed Charlie out to his police cruiser.

His damn police cruiser.

**Edward's Point of View**

I sat in the back of the dinner, chatting with the cooks while they prepared food for the soon-to-come supper rush. It was four o'clock. Not exactly the most common time for people to show up for supper.

"Hey, Cullen, you've got a table to wait" my manager, Tim, said from across the kitchen where he was helping the new cook here learn how to cook some of the basics. "Chief Swan and some girl."

I was about to ask him who 'some girl' was, but I figured he was too wrapped up helping the new boy. Newton. Mitch? No, I think it was Mike. Yeah, that sounded about right.

I grabbed two menus, my pad of paper, a pen, and a pitcher of water and headed out the kitchen doors to see Chief Swan sitting at his usual table. But this time he wasn't alone.

Beside him was a small girl. Not like a small child, she was obviously about my age, but she looked so short and fragile and innocent that it made her seem small. And delicate. And beautiful. And just simply amazing.

So, this must be the All And Mighty daughter Charlie had been telling everybody about. Isabella was her name, he had told me yesterday.

Isabella Swan. At that moment, before she had even looked at me, I just knew that something was going to happen between us. I wasn't sure what it would be, but I knew it would be something. Something special.

As I walked over to the table, I was anxious for her to look up at me. I just knew that she would get the same goofy grin that I could feel plastered on my face.

Much to my disappointment, Isabella didn't get the big goofy grin on her face. In fact, she didn't even look up from the cup she was twirling around her finger on the table.

I handed them their menus, feeling slightly rejected by Isabella not even acknowledging me, but not wanting to let it show.

"Can I start you two off with drinks?" I asked, louder than I really needed to say it, hoping to catch Isabella's eye. But, she still did not look up.

"Coffee for me please," Chief Swan grunted. That's what he does - grunts.

And, finally, I got a word from Isabella. Only one word, but still, it's a whole word. "Water." She whispered, while she handed her cup over to me. Still without looking at me.

Her voice was magical. It felt like a feather brushing over my heart. Like an angel singing down to us from heaven. Just amazing.

I took Isabella's cup and filled it up with ice water while she still refused to look up.

I left, feeling more than rejected. I just wasn't use to this. Not getting the girl, that is.

Okay, maybe I was over thinking this. I mean, really, it's not like I had asked her to marry me. Yet. And technique, she didn't say no to anything, so it's all good. Soon, it will be better. Very soon.

When I came back with Chief Swan's coffee, he had just gotten up to use the washroom. I took this as a golden opportunity to talk to Isabella.

"So," I said, while I placed Chief Swan's coffee down on the table. "You're Isabella Swan. The Chief's daughter."

And than it was that magical moment. She looked up at me, and her face was just.... completely amazed. Like I had predicted, she was in awe. Her mouth opened slightly, and her eyes practically popped out of her head.

But that moment didn't last very long. Actually, it lasted less than a second. Than she brushed the part of her long, beautiful chocolate brown hair that had escaped from her ponytail high on the back of her head behind her ear, and started glaring at me. Again, she said one work. "Bella."

"Okay than, if you prefer," I said, even though I hated that name. Bella. Just to plain. Sounds like the name of somebody simple. But Isabella.... _that_ name suited her much better. "Hope you like it here in Forks." I told her with a smile planted on my face.

Her glare turned into confusion. This time, I got many more words than just one. "What are you, some kind of welcoming committee?" She asked me.

Okay, maybe that didn't work out to well. "Sorry, I think I started that off wrong." I said. "I'm Edward Cullen," I said while putting my hand out for her to shake. "I'm going to be going to Forks High with you."

She glared at my hand for a few moments before she cautiously reached out and slipped her small, soft, delicate hand into mine, which was about twice the size of hers.

"Great. Good to already know an asshole at my school." She replied. What? Where did that come from?

"Oh, so you like playing hard to get, don't you?" I blurted without thinking. Shit. Why had I just said that?

"Thanks for confirming my suspicion." She said to me. "And no, I don't."

"Don't what?" I asked her, even though I knew she was answering my previous question. I just wanted her to keep talking.

"Play hard to get. It's so overrated. I mean, eventually the other person will think what you want them to think, which is that you're not really interested, and when they figure that out they'll get discouraged. When they start to get discouraged, they'll leave you alone, and in the end it's you who gets the loss." Wow. That was deep. And I could tell she was being honest.

"Well, I guess you're not going to like many people at Forks High than," I said with a small chuckle at the end.

"Well, I guess that will be fine, because I wasn't planning on dating any of them, anyways." She said, while she looked me straight in the eyes.

That's what troubled me about her. Her eyes. So innocent, so young and naïve, but so knowing and mature at the same time. Like she was too young to experience whatever had happened to her, but it happened, nonetheless.

"Oh, don't worry, the other assholes will try to get you to change your mind." I smirked at her.

"Other assholes?" She asked, completely confused.

"Yeah. The other assholes. You didn't think it was just me, did you?" I asked her. And than she smiled at me. She smiled! In her eyes, I could tell that inside she was laughing.

I turned around and headed back to the kitchen before Chief Swan could come back and see me talking to his daughter. I'm not sure how protective he was of her, but I didn't want to find out either.

**Authors Note:**** Review please! =) I **might **have another chapter out tonight or sometime soon. But maybe not.**


	3. Red Sam by Flyleaf

**Authors Note****: I didn't like the last chapter. I might redo it later. Hopefully this one is better.**

******** I know Bella is going to talk about wanting to commit suicide during this story, and I REALLY want you guys not to think the same thoughts as her. I am 100% against suicide, because I think that even thought some parts of your life may be hard, it will get better, and there is always at least one other way to get out of a situation.**

**Red Sam by Flyleaf**

**Chapter 3**

**Bella's Point of View**

I stood in the shower with the hot water pouring onto my back and carefully lowered the razer blade to the skin below the inside of my wrists. I could feel my veins underneath it. Slowly, I put more and more pressure on the razer blade until, eventually, it broke through my skin.

A line of red slowly webbed down my arm.

The blood surprised me. And made me slightly nauseated. I mean, I knew I would bleed, but still. It was like before you got slapped in the face. You know it's going to hurt, but you don't really know what the pain will feel like until it you actually feel it.

I put my arm under the hot water until the blood had been washed away completely, then repeated the process three more times, ending up with four cuts on my arms. I had cut my own flesh.

I know how everybody thinks that cutting yourself doesn't help at all. And for most people, it doesn't. Because their too damn happy to realize that some people's lives aren't such a walk in the park. For me, it does help.

When I cut myself, it's like when most people do drugs, but different. It just helps me forget my problems, momentarily. It calms me down. Makes me think more positive.

After I had finished showering, I wrapped my towel around me and sat on the counter with my knees pulled up to my chest.

And I thought about Edward.

He seemed perfect. Kind, a sense of humor, and gorgeous. I knew if anybody could help me, it would be him. All I needed to do was open up to him. But there was something about him that I didn't trust. I just had a feeling that if I opened up to him, something would go wrong. And it would be worse than it was before I had opened up to him.

And that would only make me want to commit suicide even more.

So I wouldn't open up my heart. I wouldn't let myself fall in love with him. Because love wasn't a feeling, it was an ability. And at the moment, I wasn't able to love.

*

The next morning, I woke up and realized that I had school today. Shit.

I got dressed in a tight dark blue v-neck long sleeved shirt with a pair of somewhat tight jeans. Tight enough to make me look nice, but not tight enough to look desperate.

I ate breakfast, than headed out the door with my bag to walk to school. It wasn't too far, not nearly as far as my old school had been.

When I arrived at school, the parking lot was filling up. So, I guessed I had chosen the right time to leave my house. I was thankful for Charlie, who had picked up my list of classes a few days ago.

My classes before lunch weren't too bad. There was always a few brave lions in each class who would introduce themselves while the rest of them would cower in the corner. I had met people named Jessica, Angela, Tyler, Mike and Alice. The last three had told me they could sit with them at lunch. I had decided that I would sit with Alice, who sat in front of me in English, my class right before lunch.

When I had walked into English and sat down in the seat the teacher told me to go to, a short girl with spiky black hair that hung below her shoulders had turned around to face me. "Hi Bella. I'm Alice." She said while she stuck her hand out for me to shake.

She was the first one I smiled at, and the first one I didn't have to correct when they said my first name. I wasn't sure how she knew not to call me Isabella, but I was glad that she did.

I had continued chatting with her during class, than proceeded to walk to the lunch room with her while she described Jasper, the man of her dreams, to me.

I wasn't too hungry, so I decided to just get an apple and some orange juice, even though I hated the taste of both of them.

After Alice had bought her lunch, she brought me over to a table near the corner where three people were already sitting.

They all looked up at me when me and Alice arrived.

"Everybody, this is Bella," Alice said. "Bella, this is my brother Emmett," she said while pointing to somebody who was rather buff, with short brown hair and his arm around the tall blond, "his girlfriend, Rosalie," Rosalie just glared at me, with her beautiful face, "and her brother, Jasper." She said while she sat down beside Jasper and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

I sat in between her and the other empty chair, glad I didn't have to sit beside Rosalie, who was currently glaring daggers at me. Well, it was good to know I was welcomed here.

There was an awkward silence, until Emmett broke it. "So Bella, where are you from?" He asked me.

"Phoenix. I grew up there." I said, really wanting somebody to change the topic. I didn't want to have to talk about anything that reminded me of... her.

Luckily, or unluckily, somebody pulled out the chair beside me and sat down. I didn't bother looking, because I already knew who it was.

"Hello Isabella." Edward said to me.

"Hi Edward." I said. "And it's Bella, not Isabella."

"Hi to you too, Edward." Alice said. I realized that he had completely ignored everybody else but me.

"Wait," I said, "You two know each other?"

"Bella," Alice replied, "Edward is my brother."

I felt like an idiot for not realizing how much they looked alike. "Oh."

Emmett obviously wasn't finished learning about my life. "So Bella, why did you move here to live with your dad?"

"Just to, you know, spend some time with him." I lied. There was no way in hell that I was going to let everybody learn my secret so soon.

"Oh. So your parents are divorced?" He asked me. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, just threatening to come out.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked me. Obviously she could tell I was about to cry. Even a blind person would probably be able to see that.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, standing up from the table. "I just remembered, I was supposed to pick something up from the office. See you guys later." I didn't wait for them to reply before I walked out of the lunch room.

Once I was out of the lunch room, I let the tears slowly fall from my eyes onto my cheeks while I walked down the hallway and outside to the tables.

Luckily, they were empty, probably because it was raining buckets outside.

I went to one of the farthest tables, which was the only one with the umbrella folded out.

As I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest, my new favorite way to sit, I heard somebody behind me. I thought it was probably Alice, but they were walking to heavily.

I didn't turn around until somebody was putting a jacket over my shivering arms.

Of course. It was Edward.

"Edward, why is a guy like you wasting your time with a girl like me?" I asked him.

"Isabella," He said, " You're more than you think you are."

I stood up abruptly. And walked back inside, leaving Edward outside by himself.

I can't stand how he's treating me. Like I'm gold or something. I really, _really,_ wish he would just piss off.

It would make everything easier. Not just for him, but for me too. Hopefully he will soon be able to figure out that I don't need him, or even want him. I have survived the last two months by myself, and I can survive the rest of my life by myself as well.

**Authors Note****: Review. Please. =)**


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